When we moved into our first house three years ago, my parents bought us a baby live oak tree as a house-warming present. My dad came over and we planted it in the front yard together. We drove stakes into the ground and tied supports to the tree to keep it from falling over. It was probably 7-8 feet tall at the time.
I was pretty excited.
I’ve been reflecting lately on experiencing breakthrough in ministry – what it takes to really grow and thrive as a church, and how to know if we are cooperating with God so that breakthrough can happen.
Tim Keller provides a helpful discussion on how to evaluate ministry effectiveness in his new book Center Church that speaks to the topic of breakthrough.
In the end, however, I believe his discussion falls short.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how pain, frustration and distraction are normal elements of spiritual growth. Unfortunately, when many of us experience these struggles in our spiritual journey we think that something is wrong with us and so we disengage. For some it turns into a cycle of engaging and disengaging. We get stuck in this rut and miss out on the spiritual breakthrough that comes when we persevere through the struggle.
Lately I’ve been reflecting on this dynamic through the lens of the 3DM Lifeshape, the Square. It offers some guidance for what to do when we’re feeling stuck. I think it’s a helpful tool whether you’re feeling stuck in your professional growth, in parenting, in your marriage, or in your relationship with God.
I have two “part-time” jobs. Julie has a part-time job and also manages our household. We have two children who increasingly have their own schedules in addition to ours. In and through it all, we’re seeking to live life on mission and make disciples of Jesus.
And I know that we’re not the only ones. There are plenty of people like us who are trying to do a good job keeping all the plates spinning so that none of them fall and break.
There have been times since we’ve moved to Dallas to help start Storyline that it has felt like Julie and I were ships passing in the night, and on tougher days, that we had devolved into merely being business partners, co-parents and roommates. I thank God that we made the decision early on to stick with each other through thick and thin – because we certainly have experienced our share of thick times (as I’m convinced most marriages do). I share these struggles with Julie’s permission.
There is a constant temptation to forget and forsake my first calling – to love my family, support my wife and disciple my children. I think this temptation is probably there whether you’re a pastor, business(wo)man, or an insurance agent.
I’m learning that I can’t merely aspire to love my family, support my wife and disciple my children. Like anything else worth doing, this calling requires both the intentionality to carve out space for it to happen and the creation of life rhythms that nurture it.
I would count it a major fail if, when I looked back on my life, I had loved the church and made disciples but had not loved my wife and made disciples of my children.
I’d like to share seven rhythms that are breathing life and love into our family these days. Many thanks to Jeff Saferite, Sally Breen and Tommy Ballard for the way conversations with each of them have shaped some of these rhythms. Further, thanks to my parents, because several of these rhythms were embedded in my own childhood.
Over the past six years, in apprenticeship and then church planting, my overarching passion has been learning how to make disciples of Jesus.
As a result, I’ve experimented with a number of different approaches to making disciples: Greg Ogden’s Transforming Discipleship triads; Neil Cole’s Life Transformation Groups; David Watson’s Discovery Bible Study; Luke 10 Community’s Church of Two; and most recently 3DM’s Huddle.
Here’s what I’m learning: none of these structures is adequate to make disciples.
