Archives For November 30, 1999

Have I mentioned that this whole church starting thing is hard work?

The part I’m finding most difficult right now is making initial connections with people—the cold-turkey, how’s it going, who are you, what do you do kinds of conversations.

Sure, I’m a pretty gregarious person, but it takes a little while before that crazy guy can come out of his shell. I was that way in junior high; high school; college; grad school; and what do you know, I’m still that way.

I’m not sure exactly why it’s so hard for me. It’s probably partly because I’m such a people pleaser. I want people to like me. I want to say the right things. I want to be cool. I don’t want people to think I’m a religious salesman.

Perhaps it’s hard because I don’t just want to have conversations with people; I want to have spiritual conversations with people. Spirituality/religion is a particularly private thing in our culture. It’s one of two things you don’t talk about (politics the other) unless you’re prepared to get in a fight.

I’m finding, however, that these kinds of conversations are much less daunting when there’s a more natural reason to have them, outside of the obvious reason of connecting with people along the wavelength of spirituality.

Conversations take place more naturally when I’m on a flag football team with people, or at a civic organization meeting, or at dinner, rather than after someone opens the door when I’ve randomly knocked on it.

Yet it’s still hard in more natural contexts. I’ve found myself sitting on the couch before going to engagements where I would meet new people trying to think of excuses for not going. [I’m laughing at myself as I type this.]

That’s right, I’m a church starter. I’m supposed to have a knack for this kind of thing. Yeah…I feel under-qualified for the job sometimes.

At the end of the day, it’s worth all the inner turmoil. It’s worth the challenge. I get the privilege, after all, to engage people concerning the most important kinds of things in the whole world.

Perhaps you’re like me…why do we have such a hard time with this?

Lessons in Hospitality

Charles Kiser —  March 3, 2008 — 4 Comments

There are so many things to blog about. Rather than cram them all into one entry, I’ll spread them out over the course of the next several posts. Here are a few topics floating around in my head: 1) translating established patterns of ministry to more ‘organic’ ones; 2) creating ‘margin’ in ministry; and 3) letting outsiders participate in the development of values and purpose. I’m writing them down in this post mainly so I won’t forget to post on them later. Stay tuned for reflections about these things.

First of all, all of you should know that our dessert party last week was a tremendous success. Thanks for your prayers. We were nervous that no one would show. But without fail, when put your neck out there God comes through. Nine people showed up from our apartment community: several were from our hallway, and a few more worked at the leasing office where we live. Interesting observation: no one at the party had lived in the community longer than 6 months.

Another family of four RSVP’d but had to decline because they caught the stomach bug. We’re excited about this particular family because they have two children Ryan’s age and have expressed a lot of interest in having play dates. We really didn’t expect for Ryan to have any playmates in our apartment community, but again, God provides.

Now I’ve really feel like we’ve started. Relationships with outsiders have begun.

I’d say the most critical learning lesson for us in this experiment of hospitality concerned the issue of agenda or motivation. In short, we tried to make it our agenda solely to extend ourselves as friends and good neighbors, nothing more. Not as church planters. Not as Christians. No gospel strings attached.

This is hard, particularly for someone whose livelihood is wrapped up in the gospel. It’s my job to connect with people, right? We’re starting a church in Dallas, right?

I think, however, that there’s a healthy sense of reservation required of Christ-followers who show hospitality to outsiders, for two reasons: 1) God calls us to love people and be good neighbors regardless of whether they show interest in God or being part of a church; and 2) outsiders can sense when they’re disingenuously being set up for a sales pitch or recruitment to something.

We’ve got to be able to form relationships with unbelievers without pretense or ulterior motives, other than loving them as those who are created and loved by God.

I was careful, therefore, not to divulge too much about myself when asked. I was certainly honest in telling them we were starting a church in the area, but I was slow to add any more detail. What I discovered was that those who were interested were quick to come back around to ask more questions about it later.

It’s so much easier to let people explore the gospel on their own terms, in their own time. Our work is simply to respond to those who God is moving to respond to us.

It reminds me of the parable of the sower—some soil responds to the seed and other soil doesn’t. One of the dominant metaphors for mission in the gospels–the agricultural image–does not include instructions for tilling the rocky soil, getting rid of the thorns, or shooting the birds that come and try to carry the seed away. We leave that to God’s Spirit. Our role in mission is sowing seed and gathering up the harvest—that is, collecting what’s grown up from soil that’s responded to the seed of the gospel and the work of the Spirit.

Keep praying that God will be preparing people to respond to the gospel as good soil, and that he’ll give us eyes to see the harvest that’s ripe for gathering into the kingdom.

Good Foundations

Charles Kiser —  February 25, 2008 — 6 Comments

Time flies when you have too much to do.

What in the world have we been doing in the last three weeks? In short, we’ve been laying good foundations.

I read a story recently about a young guy who was helping his dad build a log cabin. He spent days leveling the ground and setting the foundation. When he had finished with the foundation, he confessed to his father that it didn’t seem like he had accomplished very much. There was no house there. Not even a frame. Just level ground. His father replied: “Don’t worry; you’ve already done most of the hard work.”

I’ve been feeling like the son this month. I find it hard sometimes to push ahead in mission when I’m not seeing the house going up before my eyes. I’ve been eager to get right to hanging out with lost people. I want to start a house church. I want to throw some parties in the community. I want to initiate some justice projects.

But we’ve been trying to build good foundations: whether it be working agreements, staff covenants, office policies, financial systems, cultural research, vision and values, task lists or time lines. I suspect that foundation-laying will be a common theme not just in the next month, but in the next year. Pray for us as we seek to be fully present in the important work of starting well and laying good foundations—especially when we might be distracted from it by other good things.

I am excited because our people time will start to pick up significantly in the next month. On Wednesday, we’re hosting a dessert party to get to know our neighbors. Pray that someone comes; we’re trusting that God’s Spirit is already at work in the people who’ll be there. This night is the continuation of a weekly hospitality rhythm that the Porches and Kisers have started as a way of connecting with new people.

Another night of the week we plan on hanging out in local social hubs—restaurants, coffee shops and pubs (that’s right, I said it—did I mention that Jesus hung out with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?). McKinney Avenue, from Pearl to Blackburn, is in many ways the social epicenter of Uptown.

God has also connected us with some well-connected people—which is huge. One such person has invited us as guests to some significant organization meetings in the community. Pray that God will raise up other ‘people of peace’ who will open doors for the good news.

One last thing: I was eating lunch in West Village one day and wandered over to the Magnolia Theater, a place that shows independent films. I picked up an informational pamphlet inside and was ecstatic to read the following:

Love Gaming?

Play your XBOX, PS2 or GameCube on the big screen.

Call for rates, times and locations.

Can you say connective event #1? (And if it weren’t for our wives, #2, #3, #4. . .) One local told us that if we hosted a Guitar Hero party we’d have tons of people show up. Guess I’ll be getting the guitar accessory.

On another note, I went with a good friend to the Deep Shift conference this weekend to hear Brian McLaren. It was hosted by the Cliff Temple Baptist Church in North Oak Cliff. He presented ideas from his new book Everything Must Change. It’s a must read for anyone interested in how the gospel addresses the global crises of our time. I’m sure I’ll post more later about it.