Archives For November 30, 1999

A few weeks ago I wrote about how pain, frustration and distraction are normal elements of spiritual growth. Unfortunately, when many of us experience these struggles in our spiritual journey we think that something is wrong with us and so we disengage. For some it turns into a cycle of engaging and disengaging. We get stuck in this rut and miss out on the spiritual breakthrough that comes when we persevere through the struggle.

Lately I’ve been reflecting on this dynamic through the lens of the 3DM Lifeshape, the Square. It offers some guidance for what to do when we’re feeling stuck.  I think it’s a helpful tool whether you’re feeling stuck in your professional growth, in parenting, in your marriage, or in your relationship with God.

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I have two “part-time” jobs. Julie has a part-time job and also manages our household. We have two children who increasingly have their own schedules in addition to ours. In and through it all, we’re seeking to live life on mission and make disciples of Jesus.

And I know that we’re not the only ones. There are plenty of people like us who are trying to do a good job keeping all the plates spinning so that none of them fall and break.

There have been times since we’ve moved to Dallas to help start Storyline that it has felt like Julie and I were ships passing in the night, and on tougher days, that we had devolved into merely being business partners, co-parents and roommates. I thank God that we made the decision early on to stick with each other through thick and thin – because we certainly have experienced our share of thick times (as I’m convinced most marriages do). I share these struggles with Julie’s permission.

There is a constant temptation to forget and forsake my first calling – to love my family, support my wife and disciple my children. I think this temptation is probably there whether you’re a pastor, business(wo)man, or an insurance agent.

I’m learning that I can’t merely aspire to love my family, support my wife and disciple my children. Like anything else worth doing, this calling requires both the intentionality to carve out space for it to happen and the creation of life rhythms that nurture it.

I would count it a major fail if, when I looked back on my life, I had loved the church and made disciples but had not loved my wife and made disciples of my children.

I’d like to share seven rhythms that are breathing life and love into our family these days. Many thanks to Jeff Saferite, Sally Breen and Tommy Ballard for the way conversations with each of them have shaped some of these rhythms. Further, thanks to my parents, because several of these rhythms were embedded in my own childhood.

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Over the past six years, in apprenticeship and then church planting, my overarching passion has been learning how to make disciples of Jesus.

As a result, I’ve experimented with a number of different approaches to making disciples: Greg Ogden’s Transforming Discipleship triads; Neil Cole’s Life Transformation Groups; David Watson’s Discovery Bible Study; Luke 10 Community’s Church of Two; and most recently 3DM’s Huddle.

Here’s what I’m learning: none of these structures is adequate to make disciples.

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Last spring I bought a Groupon for 12 sessions at a CrossFit gym in Dallas. My inspiration was a friend who had dropped more than 100 pounds in 6 months while doing CrossFit workouts three times a week.


If you’re not familiar with CrossFit, it combines elements of rowing, Olympic powerlifting, gymnastics and stretching. And also death. It is not for the faint of heart.

I attended an introductory session called “Elements” to learn some of the basic movements of the workouts. It’s supposed to be an easier version of the full-blown CrossFit training.

About halfway through that hour-long class, as I was sucking wind and grimacing in pain, memories from high school weight training came flooding back. I knew what was coming – the way my muscles were burning. I knew what it meant.

I was going to have trouble walking for a while.

Oh, and I definitely had to run to the bathroom after the workout and puke.

That’s the way it is when you get back into weight training. If you get into it too quickly, and your muscles aren’t used to tearing so much, the lactic acid builds up, and the soreness can be excruciating.

Sure enough, in the days that followed, my body hurt. It hurt to walk on flat ground. It hurt to walk up stairs. It hurt to sit down. It hurt to stand up. It hurt to laugh. It hurt to get in the car. It hurt when someone looked at me.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? Something that’s supposed to be so good for you can hurt so bad!

And, as I think happens more than in just my experience, I didn’t go back. I certainly didn’t feel ready to go back 2 days later. And then a week passed. And then a month.

The initial pain of growth was too great to continue.

I think there’s some truth in this story that can be applied to spiritual training as well.

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Shawn Anderson is a fellow Mission Alive church planter in Newberg, Oregon. Earlier this year I had the pleasure of hearing him talk about a book he wrote recently about discipleship called Living Dangerously.

He referenced an ancient story recorded by the Greek historian Herodotus that brought discipleship to life for me in a new way. The following is an excerpt from Living Dangerously that shares the story of Anacharsis (see also Herodotus, The Histories 4.77):

A disciple is someone who emulates the behavior and actions of someone else until she actually becomes a different person. In the sixth century BC, there lived a Scythian philosopher named Anacharsis. Although the Scythians hated the Greeks, Anacharsis fell in love with Greek life. He traveled to Greece and immersed himself in Greek culture—he learned the language, he wore Greek clothing, he ate Greek food, he worshipped Greek gods, and he decorated his palace with Greek art. He became so consumed with the culture that Anacharsis was sometimes mistaken for a Greek. When Anacharsis returned home, his countrymen told him that he was not only like a Greek, but had actually become a Greek—and they killed him.

Shawn goes on to make a fascinating observation about this story:

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